Social Distortion
by fitjess
Summary: New friends, relationships, & love meet all the old. Everyone learns some important lessons about love and life. AH/AU. Slightly OOC. An arrogant Edward meets cynical, sarcastic, distrustful Bella. MATURE CONTENT. Drug addictions and hopefully lots of sex
1. Chapter 1

**S. Meyer owns Twilight. My first chapters are short and sweet. I have longer ones once the story gets going.**

When Alice turned into a nice, suburban neighborhood I got nervous.

"Oh, you forgot to tell me we were stopping at your parent's house before going to our apartment." I suddenly regretted wearing my black, holey sweatpants for the long five hour drive.

The bitchface threw her head back and laughed as she pulled in the driveway of a light beige stuccoed, Mediterranean style house with a red concrete tiled roof. It had a bright red door that matched the red framed windows perfectly.

"Silly, Bella, my parents live in Beverly Hills." Her face pinched annoyed, like I should already know that shit. "This is our place."

I blinked several times confused before realizing she was serious. She grabbed the small Louis Vuitton travel bag that's sat in the back seat next to my perfectly adequate Target-Day-After-Thanksgiving-Special bag and headed for the door. I looked over at the car next to me to see Rosie and Jake, who had temporarily stopped bickering in just enough time to realize what I had just.

The three of us got out of the cars in a daze. We had driven from my dad's house in Lake Havasu to our supposedly new _apartment_ in Los Angeles. I had just spent the most recent hours of my life in the car with a perky, eager Alice listening to bad rap and her excited plans for our new college lives. She left out the tiny detail that we would be living in a house, a big spacious house, a big spacious house with a pool, a big spacious, expensive house with a pool…

I should have driven with Jake.

But the thought of torturing both he and rose was too good to pass up.

Eventually, with several side glances at each other, Rose, Jacob, and I made it to the front door of the house as well.

What was Alice trying to pull? The three of us couldn't afford this. Los Angeles real estate is a high commodity. Jacob's Scholarship only allowed him 500 monthly toward room and board. God knows I can only hope to afford that much once I find a job…and Rose…well Rosalie could handle any amount but she would bitch about it in order to save me from more embarrassment.

We stood in the entryway on dark, costly looking hard-wood floor. The house had been decorated with a modern but Vatican/European vibe. Not my taste but certainly not unexpected of the miniature heiress.

"What the fuck, Alice? You know we can't afford this kind of extravagance."

She ignored me, didn't even look at me and stepped back outside to no doubt get the rest of her bags.

"I got the first room to the left when you reach the upstairs." She called over her shoulder.

She'd been planning this all along.

Manipulative, spoiled brat.

"...and Bella, stop watching football with Jake, you sound like you just reached portside…or whatever." She couldn't ignore my sailor's mouth for long.

She waved her hand dismissively before pulling a massive suitcase out of her brand new, red BMW convertible. The suitcase was bigger than her and I shouldn't have been surprised that she carried it in the house with tremendous effortlessness.

Before I ever even met her…no, no, from the moment I _saw_ Alice, I was immediately envious of her gracefulness and fluidity. She defied the laws of gravity to carry that suitcase in like it was as small as a clutch purse.

The three of us were still standing mouth agape and eyes shamelessly wandering in the entry hall when she came back through the door. By the smug look on her face, Alice knew she got to Rose. She set down the massive baggage that looked like it could be furniture.

"Here are your keys." She handed them out. Rose looked pensive, no doubt figuring out a way to get me to the other side with her now that she wouldn't be helping me out. Jake looked aloof, like he wasn't really there at all. He was probably trying to remember when his first practice was. Good thing this young man/boy had me for a secretary/mother figure or he'd never go anywhere. Even being side-tracked by Jake, I am sure I looked pissed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Stehp Meyer owns Twilight.**

I hated this snobby version of my best friend that just dismissed me like one of her parent's employees. It took a few hours of bickering, arguing and negotiating, to finally come to an agreement. One of Alice's dad's investment companies developed the entire block. She finally admitted that he purchased the house for us a year ago when we began planning the move here to attend USC.

We would be…renting it from him.

At a very, _very_ good 'rental rate.'

Alice is the kind of person who thinks she has everyone's best interests at heart. She's used to getting her own way and when she doesn't, she either just continues doing whatever she wants or she pouts until you give in. We have all learned to just save ourselves some time and surrender.

She has years of experience manipulating her parents, so getting us all to agree to this was a walk in the park for her.

Alice said she refused to live in some shitty dorm room on campus and she also refused to begin her college years with out any of us as roommates…so this was _obviously_ the only option left for us.

She's flipping dramatic.

I called her spoiled, she called me ungrateful. In the midst of loud voices and insults, Jake whispered an inquiry of when he was due again for football.

I swear.

I really didn't want to live somewhere without her…or Rose. She saw the indecision in my face and walloped me again.

"I knew you'd be like this, you effing stubborn ass!" Her little pointer finger in my face. This was the clostest she came to actually swearing.

"My dad says you can pay him 300 dollars a month if you'd like. Just so you can feel like you're contributing. That's nothing. That's like…a new shirt! Can you pay 300 a month? She was throwing her little arms in the air and her already high voice was thrilling.

I still wasn't budging. Alice, exasperated tried a different approach.

"Jake, you'll have extra money for…for food. You like food...and Bella, you can get a better car now that you'll be saving money from your _budget_." She made a disgusted face at the last word.

She kept yammering on and on about the amenities of the great spacious building that was supposed to be our _home_ for the next couple of years. She peaked my interests a little when I heard about the dishwasher. I guess there were a few things that would be nice to have around.

"...a park you can run to in the mornings and one of those big, ugly bags you like to punch in the basement… Jake, there's a game room with those x-cube thingys and bean chair bags. I know you'll love it. I designed it with my mom just for us, Bella. Pleeeeease."

When she started begging, I lost most of my resolve. I can't handle begging from anyone, especially Alice…and I like dishwashers.

Dammit.

I sighed exasperated. She was the most exhausting person in existence. I looked up to my two hundred fifty pound brownish red friend who was clearly lost when Alice mentioned extra food and video games.

Sucker. We're all Alice's fucking suckers.

I met her negotiations with firm aspirations to pay Carlisle as much as I could and to have him and Esme over for dinner at least once a week. I would try to give back as much as they have generously given us.


	3. History

**Any suggestions?**

**This is like a filler chapter that I think is totally necessary at this point for history's sake. Think of it as a late prologue or back-story. **

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Bella-** I got a scholarship to finish my degree at USC with my 3 best friends, Jake, Rosie, & Alice. I transferred here to USC for several reasons but the two biggest motivations were because Jake received a scholarship to play football here and if I am being completely honest, I came here to keep an eye on my mom, Renee. This has recently become her new zip code as well when she moved in with her new dirty-fuck face of the month, Phil.

We'll see how long it lasts.

Because of my diligence in high school--or rather my lack of social life and plenty of time for books and studying-- I graduated with great grades. With said good grades and an almost perfect GPA from Mohave Community College, I got a full ride scholarship to USC. I will however have to work a couple of jobs to pay my portion of rent and food/entertainment. LA is an expensive city to live in. It's even more costly when your roommate is Alice.

Charlie, my dad, is my rock. I don't know where I'd be with out him. Five years ago, I was sent to live with him when my mom lost custody of me. It would have been the best thing that ever happened to me…if I wasn't constantly worrying about Renee.

It was a gigantic blessing for both of us actually, when I went to live with him in Lake Havasu City. He was lacking in all areas cleanliness and edible provisions. I got to take care of him for the last five years before moving here. Getting in Alice's car yesterday and saying goodbye to Charlie was so far the hardest thing I've had to do in my short life.

I had to come here though. I have to break out of my comfort zone. I need to get my mom some remedy to her perverse consumptions. I want to get my Bachelor degree and I want to be with my friends. I want to support Jake and see every football game.

There were too many reasons not to come. I had to let go of Charlie. He only lives five hours away. I can get there to see him at least once a month. Beside that fact, Charlie will be driving Billy down to see a couple of Jake's games. It will be hard. I miss him hard already and it has only been about ten hours now.

I hope he is okay. I will be learning slowly and very hard that I can't take care of everyone.

Actually saying goodbye to Charlie was hard for all of us_**.**_ Jake, Alice, Rose and I are Charlie's family. We all have a brother/sister relationship. I thank God everyday for my little make-shift relatives. Rose, Alice and I are a year older than Jake in School but we stayed back in Havasu, going to MCC while we waited for him to graduate. And when he got accepted to USC, we all had to follow. Poor Jake got stuck with the three of us and sometimes I think he seriously wonders what the hell he did in another life to deserve this punishment now.

I have known Jake all my life. We grew up together there in Lake Havasu. He's even had the pleasure of knowing the sane, competent version of Renee. Before she went nuts and fucked over Charlie. When they split and I was forced away from my comfortable life to move to Phoenix with my crazy, asshole mother--who unfortunately for me, I happen to love with all my heart--Jake always drove down with some older Native American 'brother' to visit me. He loves me. He loves all of us. In a best friend, sisterly, platonic soul mate kind of way.

Of course I get along with Jake the easiest because he's a guy and we have the most in common. If he wasn't my brother, I would marry the bastard and pop out his children. He is the most wonderful human being on this planet.

Alice and Rose are more dramatic. Before they came along, I only had guy friends. High School girls suck. Girls in general suck. They're too hard to survive, so I gave up in middle school.

I met Alice the first day I attended Lake Havasu High School our sophomore year when I moved back in with Charlie. Surprisingly we instantly hit it off as best friends. Alice _can_ be very down to earth and chill. She is not catty and retarded like normal girls. She got along with me which is more than any other female could say. I let her stick around.

Plus she is so little and beautiful. I love her. She helps me the most to break out of my shell and not be afraid to be myself—even if she is the most annoying person of all time while doing it. I probably should thank her more often for her infuriating habits.

My little fearless, pixie, bitchy friend. But God, I love her.

We were both new to the school that year but had very different backgrounds. Alice is from a very wealthy prominent family from Los Angeles. Alice wanted to have a normal high school experience so she moved to Lake Havasu to live with her aunt and uncle. Even though she wanted as normal of life as possible--she is still very worldly when it comes to money, clothes and cars. She drove me around high school in the new little expensive toys she would coerce her poor father into buying her. Alice is obsessed with designers, hair and make up, and boys…something she is required to share with Rose because I am uninterested in all of the above.

I love Alice but I often have to tell her thanks but no thanks to her complicated girly ways. She tends to love going overboard with my simplicity. For her sake (and mine) I keep up toned muscles and small enough clothes sizes for her approval. She is not afraid to tell me if I look bloated that day. I have pretty but boring, brown hair. It is shinny and long enough that Alice doesn't harp about it. I keep it in a messy bun or ponytail most often which drives her crazy but I have to do some things for myself. I wear mascara and eyeliner and sometimes I go crazy and even wear lip gloss.

I have no one to impress really. The human male population holds no interest for me. I wonder sometimes if I'm a lesbian after all. Then I remember that Rosalie Hale and Alice Cullen are my best friends and if Im not attracted to them than I don't have a thing for girls. It's just, after knowing Jake and his friends, my boyfriend/relationship standards are unrealistically high. I have convinced myself and Rose that love is imaginary and most boys, besides Jake and company are man-sluts looking for a piece. I trust none of them.

Rose and I _did_ have human desires during and since high school. We found decent suitors to satisfy our need for the required affection and attention from the opposite sex, though none really held a lasting interest for either of us.

I've never pursued a real relationship. I don't intend to. Good men are few and far between. Most of the ones I know are related to me, even if not biologically.

Oh I believe in soul-mates but I believe I've already found mine in my three best friends. I have never really connected with anyone outside my little niche, nor do I think it's possible to love anyone more.

Poor Rose has had to take the most shit of all of us. Her parent's both died in a car accident when we were fifteen. Rose was sent to live with her dead beat Uncle and grandmother. Because of life insurance policies, social security and her father's investments, Rose is set for life with millions in the bank and growing interest.

Despite her parent's death, Rose had everything going for her. She was brilliant and looked like a supermodel. I remember that she was the one and only girl/woman to ever intimidate me. It was surprisingly refreshing to feel like a normal teenage girl for once. When I didn't know Rose so well, she was unapproachable.

I even remember being jealous of her popularity--when I am supposed to be this hard ass who doesn't give a shit about being liked and popular. Wow, I remember thinking; this beautiful sophomore girl hangs out with senior boys.

Only a short year later after her parents' tragedy, her uncle Royce and his drunken friends caught her off guard and raped her. They left her on the side of the road alone and naked. My dad, Charlie was the policeman who got the call to go get her. I had obviously known of Rosalie from High School, everyone knew of her. I was not well acquainted with her and had had maybe 3 whole conversations with her before I asked her to come live with me and Charlie. I don't know how I persuaded Rose to come stay with us because Rose wanted charity from no one. She really needed a place to stay and I think she must have felt safer living with my dad. Knowing her as well as I do now, she was also most likely intrigued by mine and Charlie's sincerity. It was like she had never met an honest person before. An honest, sincerely caring person who wanted nothing in return from her but for _her_ to be happy and comfortable.

Soon, 'just a little while' turned into a small family unit. Rose and I took care of Charlie. Jake and Alice were over at my house all day, everyday. It was the five of us and often six when Jake's dad and Charlie's good buddy Billy would come over for dinner up to seven nights a week. Our (younger, but) over-protective brother Jake had been multiplied by 1000 when Rose confided her most awful, painful memories to him late one weekend night. Jake and Rose didn't really get along so well on the outside. They fought like actual brother and sister- but their bond was unbreakable. The love all of us four friends had for each other was permanent and unconditional.

So onto USC it was for us all. Where one would go, all would follow. Us girl's hugged & kissed Charlie and Billy goodbye on their cheeks. Jake who had to stay in LA all summer for football practices etcetera, came back to Havasu to say goodbye and drive us to LA. Jake hugged Charlie and his father promising to bring us home in one piece. Alice and I collectively decided to ride together in her BMW in order to torture poor Jake and Rose. They were stuck in Jake's old yellow GT mustang they had restored together. I could tell through rearview mirrors that they had started fighting, yelling and bickering at each other before we even reached the freeway.

One thing Jake and Rose did have in common was they both loved cars, building and supping up cars. Jake and Rose spent a lot of time- _silently_- building Jake's Mustang. They'd come to a mutual agreement that no talking was aloud while working in order to get anything accomplished.

When we had all met up with Jake in LA a few weeks ago to scout out potential apartments and jobs, Jake and Rose both got a job at Terry's Tow and Toolbox. A small but well-established car repair shop near the University.

Because of Jake's fall football schedule, he'd only be working minimal part time hours to pay for food and entertainment. While Rose, on the other hand took it as an opportunity to intern with the other guys…even though she thinks the only reason she was hired was because of her long blond hair, legs for days, big boobs, and more than perfect facial components. In actuality, Rose has more talent and intuition with the cars, than more than half the men in Terry's shop. Terry recognized her aptitude for the cars when she came in applying for the job with Jake. She clicked her tall, dangerous looking shoes over to the car a repair dude, Tyler, was tuning and just looked under the hood with her arms folded. Thirty seconds later, she tightened a valve here, rubbed some caps off to clean them there, changed a much needed filter and loosened a too-tight belt all in about two minutes and not a spot of grease on her. Jacob told me about this car that none of Terry's guys could get to start for a week sparked right up and she was hired.

Terry was a little nervous about hiring someone who would wear high heels to the garage but in the end he decided it might help his business more than hurt it.

Alice being in the vicinity of her much missed mom, dad and brother wasn't really in need of a job. Her dad would take care of her finances and increased allowances--she was now again living in a higher cost of expenditures that the beautiful California had to offer. I heard her on the phone several times before leaving manipulating her dad into getting her a higher credit limit on her credit card. She got a new silver and blue, see-though card the day we all arrived at the house.

The house that Alice also manipulated us all into living in.

I should have guessed her underhanded motives when she had several of her dad's employees come up to Havasu with a big moving truck 3 days ago, packing our rooms and supplies in the big automobile. The automobile in which she so selflessly sacrificed her last few days with her aunt and uncle driving back to LA and unpacking for us so Rose and I could get some much needed last minute time with Charlie and work. I needed as much money as I could get saved up before school. I felt bad and grateful to Alice then. After realizing what a fool I was, I knew to be very weary about anything Alice did in the future.

Rose and I both were still uncomfortable with this kind of charity offered my Mrs. and Mr. Cullen. We promised each other to some how make it up to Carlisle and not take anything for granted. We had yet to meet any of Alice's family members in person so we were wondering why they would extend such welcome and kindness to us. Rose and I still have issues when people offer something for nothing.

Alice had kept immaculate contact with all of her family members throughout the years she'd been away. I have spoken to Esme and Carlisle on the phone so many times that I already feels like I've known Esme all my life. But this was just a lot to give someone you really barely knew.

Usually the conversations I had with Esme would end with her insisting that I was the perfect girl for her older son. I felt bad after but I would ultimately end up telling Esme things she wanted to hear in order to get her off the phone.

These matchmaking notions were completely and annoyingly followed up by the damn little butthead, Alice. I, being the semi-pessimistic, self proclaimed wallflower, gave up trying to explain I didn't want a relationship right now. I just can't see myself getting serious with anyone. Ever. Especially considering all the classes I will be attending in the near future.

As far as academics themselves, we had all tried to finish most of our generals in college at MCC-Mohave Community College before Jake graduated from high school a year after us. Rose had her Associates degree already because she was motivated, ambitious and diligent. I had mine because I was bored and Rose was always busy.

Alice was brilliant by all standards but she was motivated by other interests entirely. Fashion, interior, graphic, anything that had to do with the word design, provoked Alice. Everything always came very easily to her. I keep telling her that most things in life that are worthwhile in life, take a lot of hard work to obtain. I am afraid for her when she will have to face that concept the hard way.

Here we are, I thought as I unpacked the boxes and hung up my clothes in the room Esme and Alice designed for me. We're starting our new lives. Starting fresh. I hope this works out. I hope we're all ok after this is over.

**Please review. I need advice. Instead of student driver, I am a student writer. Hi.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"You're wearing that?" Alice. Horrified. I was not surprised.

"What? It matches."

"We're going to a college football game, Bella, not the flipping beach."

"What was I supposed to wear exactly?"

I had successfully made it through my first week of classes. I had yet to find a job that paid enough and I was starting to run low on the pleasure fund. School here at USC was a lot more challenging for me than Mohave Community College and neither Rose nor I had found suitable cars yet. Stress was starting to pile up.

Tonight was my first chance to catch a break.

"I'm going to the game to have fun, Alice. Stop trying to make football have anything to do with your clothes…or fashion, or whatever. I'm going for myself and for Jake, not for you." I put on a brand new USC hat Jake bought me and pulled my long ponytail through the hole in the back.

Faded denim mini skirt that Alice Hates?

Check.

Simple red tank top that matches my new hat?

Check.

Hey, I even went all out and wore the silver, sparkly flip flops instead of the red rubber ones. Lay off. I look good.

I even let her put make up on me earlier. Quit Bitching.

"Bella, you look like a boy…a slutty, short skirted boy. You're not thinking clearly. Is this really the outfit you want to be wearing when you finally meet my brother and your future soul mate for the first time…?" I rolled my eyes and tuned her out while she followed me around my room.

"You _don't_ match, Bella, you don't match us." Sometimes this little asshole knew which buttons to push. Even though I pretended not to give a shit about what anybody said, Alice knew I didn't feel like I matched up to her and Rose.

"Ughhh, you're so exhausting" I muttered. We'd been going at this for twenty minutes now. "I'll compromise with you on one condition; after the game, I will change into an outfit of your choice as long as it's at least semi-comfortable and it can be changed in the car."

She started to protest but I didn't catch all her words. Then at the mention of her snobby brother again and something about a future sister-in-law, I called out for Jake. When I heard his response from somewhere downstairs I made a mad dash toward his voice, though Alice was close on my heels.

"I'm going with Jake." I said picking up the little tub of cookies I baked for the occasion. I frosted them in school colors and made a special one for Jake as it was his first game.

I'm such a mom.

"The guys are tail gating before the game, and I want a buzz so I'll meet you after, okay? Just text me when you get there." I hurried out the door so I couldn't hear her whining.

I fully intended on leaving my phone in Jakes car and staying with Sam, Quil and Embry for the game. Alice didn't know how to shut up during the one and only sport worth watching. I'd heard a lot about the new starting quarter back, Emmett McCarty and I was excited to see him play. The big rumor was this junior, Emmett, would most likely be in the top 10 draft pick in the NFL this year. Huh? I hope Jake can introduce me someday…

And I can't focus on football with the eff-ing chatterbox in my ear all night complaining about my loud, vulgar language.

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Sam met up with me at the way in to the tailgate lot where Jake was dropping me off. Sam carried the couple buckets of fried chicken I brought for us so I could trade food for beer. I felt a little guilty that I knew I would be avoiding my best friend all night so I reluctently kept my phone...but I did turn it on silent. Ha ha Alice, ha ha.

Sam's girlfriend Emily gave me a good run for my money when it came to motherly-ness. She brought posters and markers to make signs for Jake. Embry, Quil, Jared and Paul just ended up writing crass remarks and draw large dicks all over the place before Emily started scolding them and took her markers away.

Embry had always had a little thing for me since childhood. He was nice enough and hot. I just didn't pick up any chemistry. I have made out with him enough times and have even made it to a couple of bases to know we're just friends with benefits. We were our go to people when we didn't feel like making the effort for someone new.

I knew he just needed a reason to get close enough to start touching me so I shamelessly flirted back with him when he drew a big red 03 on my upper left thigh with Emily's markers, right below the hem of my tiny skirt. I had had several beers by this point and was feeling frisky. I would need some tonight. I had to get my fill just like the next girl where the rabits and dildos just didn't cut it. But I am very _very_ picky about my partners. There are rules. Embry didnt exactly qualify at this point, he was just a really good kisser and a gentleman. He didnt push anything further than I was willing to go. If I didn't find anyone worth while at any after parties, hopefully I could call Embry to just relieve a little tension and I would of course return the favor.

The student section was packed for this first home game against Ohio State. I stood in the middle of Embry and Sam on top of the bleachers so I could be as tall as them. Jacob was a peach and somehow got us on the second row that was usually reserved for frat guys and sororities. I knew Alice had gotten actual seats somewhere so she wouldn't have to stand for the entire game in high heels. Who wears those fucking death traps to watch football?

I was definitely where I belonged tonight. I could yell, scream, & say whatever the hell I wanted without shit from my best friend. I _wanted_ to stand the entire game while cheering, singing, and stomping around and slapping high fives with people who were drunk and loud too.

People who were here to actually watch the game.

Right at the end of the third quarter, they put Jake in. He's a freshman. There's no way….wow! The coach must have really recognized his potential this summer. Most freshmen sit pretty on the sideline the entire year, not even getting a single play in. I should have known Jake's receiving abilities wouldn't go unnoticed for long.

He plays fucking exceptionally.

_Edward Cullen_

I love my sister. I really do. I am sincerely glad she is back in LA.

Tonight I just wanted to support Emmett and USC from the comfort of my own side of the stadium, the opposite side of Alice…and her friends. Fucking sniggering, Barbie-dolls with more air in their skulls than brain matter. Two years ago I would have been all up for her friend Rosalie. Literally. The word 'beautiful' wouldn't really describe her perfect features accurately. She was stunning. The couple of times I've met her, she seemed like she had a good head on her shoulders too-less air than most…but she isn't my type and I can't just sleep with her and never call her again like I do with the others. She's Alice's best friend…or one of them and it would upset Alice if I fucked and ducked.

I don't disrespect women…intentionally. My mother would shit if I had even been the least bit impolite to them. I never led a girl on to think I was willing to give more than I was. The girls I date are all well aware of my intentions (or lack there of) before letting go of their inhibitions. I am not necessarily a man-whore like Emmett but I'm not exactly a saint either. It's only been in the last year or so that I have been keeping to myself more.

Medical school is rough. Rougher than I expected—though Carlisle had warned me plenty of times. School has recently presented me with the first real challenging experience I have had in my very fortunate life. If I want to be on top and finish first, I can't be distracted by foolish, predictable, boring college girls. Sure, I get lonely at times. I have needs. But those needs are my last priority. I just want to focus on getting through this semester and the next…and then the one after that. …Oh dear God, I still have three more years of this shit. GAH!!!! Ok tonight I just need a break, maybe I'll find some random sorority girl to fill in some of my solitude.

I always get what I want. I am a spoiled, selfish ass-hole. Sure, I am well-mannered with them. I even like some of them and not just for their bodies. I mean, I find that sometimes I am still interested in their majors and ambitions--- but I never get in too deep. They start to get all attached and shit if you pay too much attention.

I was shook out of my little revelry when USC's quarter back, and my cousin/best friend Emmett McCarty, brilliantly threw the ball to this huge wide receiver I'd never seen before today's game. Hmmm, must be some new freshman.

"Jasper, have you seen this Black, O-three dude before…is he a freshman this year?" I knew all the guys on the team…well the guys that played anyway. I had never heard of 03 before, although his last name did sound very familiar for some reason.

"Don't be racist, Ed, he's Native American and he is the fucking amazing, new wide-receiver. Freshman. He's good. Did you see that catch? I thought for sure Ohio would intercept. Black avoided that lineman like he wasn't even there." Jasper was in awe. I wasn't far behind.

Because of Black's remarkable catch, USC got another 1st down. On the twenty yard line, Emmett set up camp again. When he called the play in motion, Black came from around the opposite direction of his last catch while Emmett simultaneously threw the ball his way. Black was a tremendous player who not only caught the ball _again_ but dodged several tacklers who were in his course. He was in the end zone with more speed than a man his size should ever encompass.

TOUCHDOWN!

The crowd went wild. The band went off. I was jumping and yelling right along with Jasper, James and Mike when I saw her, my prospective sorority conquest for tonight. She was on the same row as I was just a few seats down. She was hot enough to be a DG girl… but where were the rest of them? She was standing with a bunch of guys. Sorority girls usually travel in packs.

(A/N: Someone told me DG girls were the top sorority at USC. I don't know how true that is since I don't go there but for the sake of my story, DG is going to be the best.)

The girl of tonight's dreams was standing next to three big Native American guys. Maybe she wasn't in a sorority at all but why were they standing all the way down here? I could tell she was a pretty brunette girl but I couldn't say how attractive she really was in the face because her hair was in a long ponytail under a hat. The hat covered half of her features but the smile I could see as she cheered was taking my breath away.

What the fuck?

Takes by breath away? Hanging out with my mom so much makes me such a fucking pussy sometimes…it's just…not everyday you see a beautiful girl like her excited about football. Ya. That's what I meant.

Her smile isn't what originally caught and held my attention. Under a too short miniskirt were two perfectly toned, lightly suntanned legs. She was a runner, I could tell.

Then she became more and more too good to be true when I noticed how perfectly casual and comfortable she was. If I did ever particularly care to be in a relationship, I would want some girl like her. A girl that wasn't afraid to eat a huge, sloppy cheeseburger, drink beer, and definitely! Definitely watch football with such enthusiasm. She was jumping up and down holding onto the shoulders of the two guys in front of her. It did not escape my notice the fact that she had left her bra at home. Her tiny figure did not hide her superior tits bouncing up and down with her hopping.

I had to have this girl. Was she with one of those guys? It didn't seem like it. I usually didn't care but something about her seemed more loyal than the average college girl.

Why hadn't I seen her before? Jasper and I were well-versed with all the twenty-two sororities on campus and she looked a little older than the new freshman girls I had yet to learn. I was completely in lust with her as she yelled out something vulgar in reference to Ohio. Could she hold that thought for a couple of hours before I could get her to my apartment?

I had clearly been staring at her for way too long. The crowd had settled back down and the forth quarter had started. I'm pretty sure Ohio was running the ball when she looked at me. I couldn't see her eyes very well under the damn hat but I know she looked right at me. I unconsciously smiled at her, and then stopped abruptly and looked away when I realized what was happening to me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Forgive me, Edward has a potty mouth. I wish to offend no one. Please be advised of the explicit content, yo. Also I had to incorporate some Edward history and it sounds a tad repetitive. **

**I haven't written in a long time so I hope it flows together. Let me know if this is going in the right direction.**

**Review from chapter 4…**

_Why hadn't I seen her before? Jasper and I were well-versed with all the twenty-two sororities on campus and she looked a little older than the new freshman girls I had yet to learn. I was completely in lust with her as she yelled out something vulgar in reference to Ohio. Could she hold that thought for a couple of hours before I could get her to my apartment?_

_I had clearly been staring at her for way too long. The crowd had settled back down and the forth quarter had started. I'm pretty sure Ohio was running the ball when she looked at me. I couldn't see her eyes very well under the damn hat but I know she looked right at me. I unconsciously smiled at her, and then stopped abruptly and looked away when I realized what was happening to me._

_Edward Cullen_

I was getting hard by just looking at a goddamn stranger. What. The. Fuck?

God, it's been way too long since I've had some decent pussy. I am not kissing her, groping or fondling or even touching anything and I am already this wound up? Getting her home sooner rather than later would be best for my current condition. I looked up at her again and like my eyes were fucking magnets to her gaze, she looked up at me again too. I smiled my best confident crooked smile at her that I know fills those bitch's airy heads with lust. She held a moment of hesitation and quickly covered it with a cocky ass grin. She was then immediately talking into the ear of one of the guy's she was with all while looking straight at me and holding her sexy ass smile.

He wasted no time in hoisting her up on his back like she was a goddamned princess who couldn't be troubled to walk on her own. Then he turned and I saw his face that looked like he'd just struck gold or some shit. He was about to get what I was sooooo looking forward to only moments ago. She was taken and just as loyal as I thought. That mother fucker had her perfect legs wrapped around is waist where I wanted them to be on me-only with her turned around. My vision was green. That was a strange emotion I didn't ever remember feeling before. Huh. I couldn't be jealous, could I? They're together and I don't even know her. I thought she seemed taken at the beginning. Why am I upset?

If she was so loyal why did she hold my gaze until the crowds parted for them and they turned to go up the stairs? She eye fucked the shit out of me the closer she got and it seemed as though she was silently daring me to chase after her. I don't chase. I wasn't too preoccupied by this fucking realization to miss her pink and white boy shorted underpants as she bounced up the stairs, on his back, and out of the stadium. Out my reach. Did I just think _underpants_? God, I need help.

I tried to enjoy the rest of the game but the spoiled child in me held no further interest. All I could think about was her. Her legs, her smile and mostly her rejection. I am never fucking rejected and that cocky smile of hers kept flashing in my brain fucking pissing me the hell off. I was still hard for her too. I hated her and wanted her so much at the same time.

My uncomfortable tight pants could become an issue if I can't find someone suitable to fuck in the mean time. Edward Cullen doesn't whack off because of refutation. Edward Cullen only does that when _he_ chooses to. Because he doesn't have time for more. Emmett and Jasper say it would be best if I stopped referring to myself in the third person but I really feel that it suits me. I am really very important to myself.

Some Serious Edward Cullen insights: 

I grew up in no other than the best goddamn city in this entire country, Los Angeles, Cali-fuckin-fornia.

I come from money.

A lot of money.

And that fucking money is so bittersweet to me. While I love my extensive, not to mention impressive, car collection …and the fact that I have been everywhere worthwhile on this god-forsaken planet over and over, money has changed me. And not necessarily for the better.

Indeed, I am an ass. Everything has always come so easily to me. I am not fucking ungrateful; I just learned a little too damn late and a little too embarrassingly that life can fucking hurt sometimes. Before I got to college, I had been so caught up in my parent's little world of country clubs and cock-tail parties that I honestly didn't see how it was possible to _live_ any differently. I mean, those cock-head kids on that MTV birthday show didn't have shit on my life.

I am honest enough, at least with myself, to admit what a fucking slap in the face it was to find out the extent of poverty in the United States--- The discrimination, the racism, the intolerances and all the fucked up situations in this world. Shit, I am not a stupid motherfucker; I was just naive and sheltered. Where I come from, we DO NOT bring shit like that up. Ever. I was eventually convinced that the world just wasn't as bad as it really was. I had friends and fun and anything I wanted. Anytime.

Needless to point out, I felt like a total duesch when I moved in my first year of college to the dorms- a suggestion from my dad because he wanted me to experience college the same way he did. The right way, he said.

I moved in with my cousin Emmett because his dad suggested the same fucking thing and because Emmett was going to be playing football and should live near practice and campus and shit. This dude Jasper Whitlock from Texas got assigned to live with us as well and my fucking eyes were forced open.

Jasper Whitlock had to work 2 jobs in order to make enough money to pay for his portion of room and board. He was the first person in his family to even go to college and he came here on a scholarship. I was fucking proud and fucking _ignorant_ to smile because my dad's companies sponsored hundreds of scholarships… And I was just so excited to actually meet someone who had received one.

Shit, it turns out that I am a very fortunate bastard with no goddamn idea what is really going on in this world and it hurts to find that shit out when you're 18. I felt betrayed and stabbed in the back by what I thought was a great life.

Another fucked up thing about Jasper's life was that he had a really hard time with mine. After I heard about all of Jasper's struggles to get to school here, I was almost ashamed…or embarrassed to mention that I come from where I come from. I didn't want him to know the extent of my fortunateness. I was smart in hiding it from him because when Emmett opened his big fucking mouth and elicited all the information about our family, Jasper felt it fucking necessary to be intimidated by my capital worth-- Like I had magical powers or some shit.

I mean, when Jas told me in drunken confidence three months into school that his uncle who was homeless and apparently illiterate, died…_of rabies_. Because his alcoholic, destitute uncle decided to live in an abandoned warehouse with about 40 other people and about 400 other rats and plagues and infection and…yeah, I didn't believe him. Jas fortunately put me in my place and started schooling me on real life.

I am one lucky son of a bitch; it is true. –But it's not just because my dad has more money than Jesus. I am even luckier that God or whatever powers that be made Jasper realize that underneath it all, I am still a normal fucked up asshole like the rest of us. I finally learned that yeah, I may have many privileges and I am blessed as hell, but I am an alright individual and I care about humanity. I neglected to mention to anyone else where I really came from again, and from then on I asked Emmett to keep his big mouth shut about us. People discriminated us and held me at a higher standard just because my family is who they are. I don't want to be responsible for shit like that.

And I definitely had to learn quickly that you couldn't trust people who said they were your friends. I also became conscious to the fact that a _person_ had potential to be nice, a person could be smart. But people, as in a group of them, are fucking stupid…and disloyal and can stab you in the fucking back with a prison shank when you least expected it…Jasper has awfully odd relatives.

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I have come a long way in 3 years. That whole ordeal with Jasper and the money shit was the only hard thing I really had to deal with thus far. I already have my Bachelor's because I am brilliant and I completed four years of school in three because generals and pre-med were cake for me. I get off on small accomplishments like never getting anything less than an A on a paper and never having an incorrect answer on any test.

However, I have a feeling all that shit is about to change. I have just started medical school this year and it seems that I am due again for another fucking challenge in my life. I guess it's only fair that the universe is finally catching up to me. My dad lectured me again today how much more work I'll have to do in med school and how much less time I'll have to do it in. I regret never listening or really preparing for it. I was born with a fantastic fucking photographic memory and apparently a hidden talent for alliterations. I just know shit because I'm awesome. I was too cocky and proud to prepare myself for this. Goddamnit, why does shit like that always have to come back and bite me in the ass?

I will be getting mine this semester because it's only been one fucking week and I am already struggling. Not as bad as some other students, sure, but I am not the best. And I fucking have to be the best. Absolutely no distractions this year.

Girls do not usually count as distractions because I am like God to them and they know not to fucking bother me unless I solicit their company. Shit, I have yet one more thing to thank god every night for, I am good-looking as fuck. Sometimes I even ask myself why I get to be blessed again. What can I say except God loves me and so does my mom.

So why is this chick bothering me so much? I just saw her in a crowd once. She looked completely ordinary and was wearing a baseball hat for hell's sake. Except that was just it-The smile she gave me was anything but ordinary. She was sexy as hell, there is no use lying to myself. She is my ideal girl and I want her. I want her. I want her. I _want_ her.

In the midst of my tantrum, I realized Jas and James were making their way out of the game and I started to follow. What is on the agenda for tonight, because if I can't have my girl tonight, I need to find some other chick to take care of my business?

_La Bella_

I was so happy for Jake but I kept getting text messages from the twit to meet her and Rose outside the game and get ready for football game after parties. Apparently Alice had big plans. I looked up while we were all cheering for Jake's first college touch down and got big ass butterflies in my gut. There only several people down from us, was a God-like creature. And he was looking right at me with a small smile twitching… I had to resist the urge to look behind me and check for Rosalie. When he looked away he almost looked annoyed. Maybe he was looking somewhere else after all.

About five seconds later I could no longer resist the urge to look at him again –just one more time- I told myself. He was just so perfect. And oh my gosh, look at his I Just Got Fucked in the Women's Bathroom at Half-time sex hair. I am wet. That's my favorite kind of hair. I'm in trouble. He was looking at me again, at least I hope it was me or my next move could be slightly humiliating. He gave a cocky crooked grin that I'm sure worked wonders on all the lucky ladies who got to be with him. I however would not be so lucky. Guys like him are dangerous for me. Not that I fall for them or anything…it's just intimidating, I guess. I can not be held responsible for my panties around them and I don't like being with guys that are prettier than me. This guy was not just pretty, he was beautiful.

I should probably get going because if I gave him a chance to walk over to me and talk, I might attack his face with my tongue. I leaned into Embry and brushed my fingers over his neck lightly. "Hey, can we get out of here before Alice comes and kidnaps me?" I looked at the mysterious sex-god the entire time. I knew I had mere seconds left to memorize him so I'd be able to take care of myself later with him in mind.

Embry chuckled lightly, "Yeah, what you ladies doing tonight?" He's probably wondering if I was going to be available later for the booty call. I am not a tease on a normal basis but Goddamnit, this was an emergency.

"We can go back to my place if you promise to protect me from the little dueschbag. She wants to force me to go to frat parties and crap…" The only thing that could have gotten Em away from football is the promise for some 'action' later. He probably thought he was going to get more than I was willing to give him, poor guy. I, unfortunately for Embry, am very selective. He hitched me up on his back and carried me away. Away from where the other half of me begged to go back and assault a stranger.

My virginity was lost long ago and I am by no means a prude. I am willing to try almost anything once. I just feel like it's something that requires a low meaningful number. I need to feel some chemistry with them. I need to feel more than just friendly, companion-like comfort. I don't have anything to do with it if it's going to be just a boring old regular fuck. Where is the passion in that?

You see, after Rose went through the most horrible nightmare known to mankind, she had to go to counseling and therapy for years. She still goes now except it is much less frequent and much less traumatizing. She is strong and I admire her for being able to move on with her life. God knows I still have several abandonment issues that I need to move on from as well…and what Rosie went through is a lot worse than me.

At first she had a series of panic attacks and anxiety when the first guy she tried to go out with got a little too handsy with her. She eventually overcame her issues and out of I think retaliation for Royce, she started sleeping around a tinsy bit…in my opinion. I think she did it just to prove...she could? All I know is she talks a good game and she is one sexy bitch. But I can sometimes, even after five years of aftermath, see that she still gets panicky in certain situations or when she is put into certain positions that make her uncomfortable.

I was worried about her so I made up these particular rules with Rosie our senior year and said to only have worthwhile bedmates...not _just_ worthwhile but worthy as well. If we're going to add to the number, we might as well add them with enthusiasm and organization. She flicked me in the forehead at the suggestion but eventually came to her senses a week later. Alice also eventually joined our club after several bad experiences.

We check with each other before sexy times with each new person in order to make sure we dont have beer goggles on or we're not just being desperate. Each man in question...or woman in one of rose's cases must meet the following criteria and be approved by one of the other two remaining club members... Jake tried to claim he had power to veto all of his friends suggesting incest by association... I get a lecture everytime Embry comes over.

_OPERATION FUCK GOOD COMMENSES:_

(I typed this shit up and taped on our fridge, yo. Alice crossed out the word fuck and wrote _love_...she's a pussy.)

_1. First, Middle, and Last name of the fella must be known as well as an approximate date of birth. _

*at first there was an age limit but Alice just kept breaking that rule so we amended it.

_2. Can (try REALLY hard) not to have sex on the first date._

_3. Fella must be willing to meet the rest of us so we can judge him accordingly._

_4. Must have proof that said fella has good Hygiene and has been tested recently._

_5. You should have chemistry and/or romantic feelings for the dude in question. Mutual lust is a must._ (*this is the only rule that must not be broken by a member of our little geeky club.)

_Alice and Rosalie amendments_

_ 5a. The man in question must show proof that his feelings are mutual for you with thoughtful gifts, small gestures of affection, compliments and/or sentiments._ (Alice)

_5b. The fella must show considerable interest in pleasing the lady as much as pleasing himself._ (Rose dated some selfish ass-holes.)

_6. Last but not least and there are always exceptions... The fella must own a car and/or motorcycle, and must have at least a part-time job or going to school. Not because we are mean bitches, but because we don't date unambitious losers._

Needless to say, I have only found a few people who fit the criteria and I rarely search for new coquests. But USC is new. And I am trying to break out of my shell a little bit. I would not be opposed to some new dick if I can find someone in accordance to my needs.

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

I text Alice that I was going home with Embry and was a little concerned at her silence. I should have known better to not park and go inside because of course she beat me home. She attacked me at the door wearing her Dress-up Bella hot pink leather toolbelt. The surprised Embry held his hands up in surrender when Alice pointed the hair dryer at him. Embry laughed when I looked at him like the scared traitor he was.

It was then that I noticed that our house was ready for a festival. I was suddenly depressed knowing I was once again fooled by the little skank known as Alice. I leave for four hours and our house looks like fucking Mardi Gras meets a kegger-rave party. Alice never does anything half-way doe she?

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**Please stay tuned for z party this week. Sorry, I can't seem to get over the filler chapters. I have more to come. And I also apologize for kind of going crazy with the rules. Bella really enjoys a good roll in the hay but she has to have standards for future reasons... **

*****I jsut ralely relaly ned a ogod beta.*** **

**Review and share with others pretty please with an arrogant ass-hole Edward who has fucked-good hair on top. He will get nicer, I got carried away with the ass-hole in me. Necessitas Advice. **


	6. Chapter 6

**I DONT OWN TWILIGHT.**

**I LOVE YOU FOR READING THIS**.

**ALSO…AS ALWAYS, PLEASE OFFER ADVICE IF YOU HAVE ANY AND REVIEW! **

**Chapter 6**

Alice pulled me up the stairs into my room by my ear when I refused to go quietly. When up there she slipped my shirt over my head and started unbuttoning my skirt before I asked what the hell was going on.

"Did you even go to the game? How did you have time to do all this?" I noticed she wasn't ready for the night. She had her party planning/decorating outfit on under the tool belt, which means I have about forty-five minutes until people start showing up.

"No, of course not. I knew you'd ditch me for Embry yesterday when I caught you with the shower head between your legs." I blushed.

"Better than when I found you with fucking Paul in the gift shop back room at the London Bridge." I muttered under my breath. Alice's cheeks turned a smidge pink but she kept going like she hadn't heard me. "How much shopping can I get out of in order to keep that information away from Jake, anyway?"

"I'll deny anything you say and Paul knows what I'm capable of doing to him if he snitches on us."

Overconfident whore.

She had me undressed by then and was promptly pushing me toward my bathroom. "…and you don't have time for fiddling with yourself right now either. Get in there and wash your hair and shave anything that hasn't been shaved since yesterday."

I mimicked her all the way there then added a rather grumpy "Yes, Hitler" as I was pushed in, quite roughly, while the water was still cold. I couldn't help but yelp in shock and listened to the little tinker bitch laugh. She left the bathroom to probably go finish setting up.

While in the shower, I couldn't help myself. My mind automatically drifted to the bronze haired hot bitch from earlier. _Fuck Alice,_ I thought, _there's always time for a quickie_. Mmm, that glorious hair of his would be nothing short of perfection right where my showerhead is now conveniently placed, I want to lick and suck on that jaw… I want to lick and suck on something else… I bet his hands…

"Bell-lla." Alice sang. Her voice was too close. I froze with the head between my legs as she opened the shower door to check on me.

Fuck, I've been caught twice in a twenty-four hour time period.

While simultaneously laughing and shaking her head disapprovingly, she striped and fucking stepped into the stall with me.

"Put that away." She scolded. I smiled in shame, probably crimson red.

"God, I know you too well." Alice muttered. "This is the only way to ensure you do what you're told." She took the handle out from my favorite spot and I immediately craved what had been lost. The vision of the perfect man was fading a tinge and I was depressed.

Alice washed herself while I did the same. We are both smaller people so we didn't bump each other awkwardly. I did spray her in the face once or twice for interrupting my fun time. I tried to look all innocent but I could tell she didn't buy it because the second time I did it she gave me the worst titty twister of all time and I now know not to mess with Alice while in the buff.

I used to be uncomfortable being nude around Alice and Rose because they both look like goddesses and I looked like…well me. And also I was kind of a shyer, more introverted kind of person than they were. That all changed when I fell down a flight of stairs and through a window at prom our junior year. I broke both my tibia and fibula bones in my right leg. Luckily for my running, it was a clean break and healed rather nicely but Alice and Rose were my saving, showering graces for the duration of the big boot-leg cast. Seven weeks of my closest friends all up in my business was enough for me not to care anymore.

We probably looked really odd to outsiders. Showering, sleeping in the same beds…even with Jake. We all know each other's top ten favorite foods, bands, movies, pet-peeves, weaknesses, and favorite memories etcetera. We hold nothing back from each other. Well almost nothing. I kind of forgot to mention to Rose and Alice what my mom is really like. They don't need to know what she has really put me through and Jake better take what he _does_ know to his grave or I'll put him there.

Other than that I couldn't be closer to anyone… I realize I may need to think the close-knit shit through a little more thoroughly when Alice raises my arm, slabs some cream on it and quickly shaves the non-existent hair away. "Shit Alice, I can do it myself, asshole. That fucking hurts." She did the other arm while I rolled my eyes at her dismissal of my complaints. I then had to press my fingertips into my armpits because they were in pain and if I didn't get some lotion or something on them quick, that bitch would be causing some razor burn.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thirty minutes later and a lot of impatient Alice tugs, pulls and plucks, I looked semi-good. Almost even pretty. Alice looked all smug as she spiked up her hair crazily and I reluctantly thanked her for making me look good enough for self-confidence and for letting me wear really cute jeans. Beauty is pain and Alice is torture.

"So this party, Alice? Are you going to tell me what you're dressing me all up for or do I need to go find Rose?"

She smiled and caught my trace of excitement. "Well, if you must know, my Brother is in a fraternity---" I groaned and slumped back on the queen size bed Esme and Alice picked out for me. "…and said he'd get a few people together to come hang out. Stop complaining, Bella. I am going to tell you I told you so about him one day…you just wait. Don't bet against me about love.

"Blah, Blah, Blah. I don't want to meet him. Im sorry he's your brother, Alice, but I really don't think it's a good idea for me to go out with him. _He's your brother" _I enunciated. "…and I am your best friend. What if I really like him and he…doesn't…like me back or something. And then he fucks me over and you're the one stuck in a hard place?"

Alice furrowed her perfect brow as if in deep thought for exactly two seconds then shrugged lightly. "You're meant for each other, I already know it. Trust me, don't doubt me. I'll make you say I was right eventually…And I know my Edward almost as well as I know you…he'll be in love with you and not even know it before the night is over….And by the way, if you use that potty mouth of yours at dinner with my parent's here tomorrow, my mom will have a coronary."

What like she's never heard the word 'fuck' before? I digress, the little bitch is right. Carlisle and Esme have done so much for me I hope I can control my mouth for two hours.

Alice practically skipped out of my room like a toddler, vibrating with excitement. I decided to just conceal myself in my room until I would most likely be forced out by Al or Rosalie to go downstairs.

While hiding up in my room, I contemplated why I really wouldn't give Alice's brother, Edward a shot. I have been avoiding him for years- ever since Esme and Alice started planning our lives together. It was a lot to live up to, their family. They were big, rich, wealthy people around a bunch of snobs and other big, rich, wealthy people.

Who'd want to date someone who cares more about their new Mercedes and their next tee times with all the 'gentlemen' at the country club than watching the Charger's beat the Bronco's on a Sunday afternoon, and having a nice dinner outside on the porch with friends? Who'd want to go out with a guy who probably drinks thousand dollar bottles of wine and eats caviar instead of good beer and homemade tacos? That's just not me. I prefer simplicity.

I also would never be able to fully let my guard down around someone like him. I will ultimately need to be with a guy who would be able to understand and accept my relatives. Perfect Richie Rich Edward would sever all ties to someone like me if he found out about Renee's strange way of life. Alice doesn't know the half of it. She doesn't _know_ that if Renee were to find out where we lived, she and her make-shift friends would ransack the place and take everything over $15 in value. Renee doesn't care that I am her daughter, she cares that _because_ I am her daughter, I am statistically less likely to call the cops when she steals from me.

When I spoke on the phone with Renee yesterday, she was strung out on something and totally surprised when I told her I've been in L.A. for the past week. It's like I had never mentioned to her at least fifteen times before that I was moving here. Jesus, she's fucking ridiculous.

I am not embarrassed by where I come from; it has made me who I am. I have come to terms with who I am. I finally can truly say I like myself. Being with someone like Alice's Brother would ultimately make me change my mind about myself because I already feel inferior with out ever even meeting him. I have never been able to tell Alice in depth about my childhood so she doesn't exactly know that my mom chose vodka and oxycotin over me. I don't enlist myself in relationships because I can't face that kind of rejection again. I love my mom. And she didn't love me back enough to keep me. Some poor guy will have to deal with all of that shit and I am pretty sure someone with as perfect a life as Edward Cullen wouldn't be up for that kind of challenge.

I heard a bunch of people downstairs by now and Alice had her shitty music going. It was only a matter of time before someone came up here to retrieve me. Though it was the least of my friends that I expected.

"Yo, Bells!" I heard Jake down the hall. He stuck his head in to see me. "What ya doing in here all alone?" Ok. So they've all caught me at one point or another. I'm doing that rather often. Statistically, it's bound to happen.

I rolled my eyes as he walked in the room and almost broke my bed when he landed on it. "Congrats on the game, Babe. I saw your first touch down. How come you neglected to tell me you'd be playing so soon, huh?"

"Surprise?" He smiled a big toothy grin. "Actually, that's why I came up here to get you. Emmett convinced Carroll to use me at half-time. He's downstairs, I knew you'd want to meet him." He was right. Emmett McCarty is my new hero…especially now, if he's getting plays in for Jake. But if I went down there now, I'd also get stuck meeting a pompous ass. I groaned. "I met _him_ too Bells, he nice. Just get it over with so Alice leaves you alone…"

"Plus, Al told me if you don't get your ass down there 'right this instant'" He mimicked in high voice. "She says you'll be going with her tomorrow to someplace called The Prairie or some shit in a hotel downtown to get all you're pubes waxed off?"

I took in a large amount of air rather quickly respecting that kind of physical pain. I'm sure I looked rather frightened.

He smiled his easy teasing smile. "I can't believe you keep enough hair down there for Alice to be able to threaten you with, anyway. Serves you right." He was sniggering at me for three second before I punched him in the arm hard and jumped on his back trying to strangle him to the ground. Instead he easily held onto my arms that were around his neck and started his way down the stairs with me swinging limply from his back. Usually I would fight harder but I feared for the pain in my loins if I didn't go.

EACEACEACEACEACEACEACEACEACEACEAC

Once I was downstairs, I looked for Alice so she'd know I came down and hopefully she'd leave me alone for a while to mingle. The thing to understand about why meeting this stupid guy is such a big deal, is when I said avoiding him for years? I mean it really literally. Alice lived in Havasu with us for five years. Her family is bound to visit at some point…or in their case, a lot of points. I was always conveniently out of town when I knew they were coming. I'm a pussy at rejection and I have built it up to be such a big deal when it really shouldn't be. Rose met him a couple times. Said he was gorgeous but arrogant as shit with a stick up his ass. He always came to town rather stiffly and ended up brushing off her playful attempts. No one brushes of Rosie. Three years later and she's still upset about it.

I used to be able to tell if the Cullen's were coming to town because of course Alice would try to surprise me. Rosalie would get all primped out just waiting for him to want her just so she could reject him back. God, she can be such a girl sometimes. She has been permanently all done up since we got here.

And anyway, how could Esme want to set me up with someone who could coherently brush off Rosalie Hale? In the end I didn't want to meet him because I was just dreading the impending embarrassment and humiliation. I've made a huge fuss for so long that I can't let them down by just giving in so easily. Can I?

I didn't have to be introduced to Emmett to know who he was. He got up as Jake came to a halt near him and a girl he was sitting with. Jake set me down and I took in all that was Emmett McCarty. Has Rosie seen this particular piece of ass? Who's this chick giving me daggers because Jake brought me to meet the next draft pick in the NFL?

"You're huge!" I announced looking up at him a little awestruck. My brilliant deductions made him chuckle as I shook his hand.

"That's what she said." He laughed again at his own joke. When I finally got it, I blushed a little and laughed softly still in captivation.

"She's been waiting to meet you since she found out this is where I'd be playing" Jake explained.

"Jake talks about you guys all the fuckin time. No offense but I don't know how he can live with three chicks…" He shuddered and shook his head at Jake like he was either really stupid or fucking brilliant. "Especially my cousin dude. She's fucking wacked!... S'like she's on crack or some shit all the time…"

"Wait a sec…Alice is your cousin?" I slapped Jake hard on the back of his head for not mentioning this earlier and I'd make sure to get the little bitch later too. I have talked about Emmett McCarty's football stats non-stop since April. Damn Bitches.

"Yeah, she's feisty as shit but that little one's got a good heart." I agreed wholeheartedly with Emmett but wished Esme was trying to set me up with her easy going nephew instead of a dick…

"Are you guys close?...I mean, why wouldn't she say anything?"

"She doesn't want to claim me." He feigned offense. "No, knowing Alice, it probably has nothing to do with us" he gestured to me then himself. "She's a sneaky little shit and I'm sure you know her better than me nowadays, but she has a motive, ulterior or otherwise for…everything." He shook his head chuckling.

"Well Bells, I've got to tell you." He continued as he put a huge arm on my shoulder. "After meeting you and…Rosalie?" He questioned her name with Jake but held it in the air with amazement. "I think I'd suffer through all the girly shit to be able to see you guys walking around in your thongs and see through bras." His grin was dreamy and the girl he was with was glaring at me.

I hit Jake harder on the back of the head. "What the fuck do you tell people about us?"

"Fuck," He rubbed his head gingerly. "He fantasizes all on his own Bells."

"Na-uh Jakie-poo, you told me yesterday after practice how dramatic the house gets when all three girls start their periods at the same fucking time…" Jake looked more afraid at every word out of Emmett's mouth. I didn't even blush cause I knew exactly how to put him in his place.

"God, Jake, I didn't know you had it so bad here. You could always move back in with the guys at the fraternity…" Jake stayed with Emmett all summer while he had to be here with out us until last week. He was sure to be indicted into their little club with Emmett being his new best buddy and all- living in a place with frozen pizzas and other little piglets that don't have a den mother cleaning up his shit for him.

"No, no, its okay Bells." He pleaded with his eyes for me to not go where I was going with this.

"Yeah, Jake, you're always welcome…shit, Bella," He looked at me with hope, "you, your thong and those cookies you made today are always welcome too." He smiled cockily like that invitation was similar to getting asked out by LaDainian Tomlinson.

"Emmett its splendid here, really. I am so lucky to have Bells." He put his arm around my other shoulder for comfort.

I turned to Emmett sweetly after giving whoever this bitch with him was a glance that sent her packing. Jake rolled his eyes while folding his arms knowing I would be embarrassing him now for the mentioning of my period to mere strangers.

"I'm not girly…" I poked Emmett in the chest. "And while it's true I have a menstrual cycle, I don't let Jakie-poo know when, how, what or who about it…and Jake would be lost somewhere between looking for food and finding his own balls if it weren't for me…" I smiled cause that shit is so sad but true. "I'm sorry, darling" I cupped Jakie's strong jaw between my fingers and thumb slightly shaking his face as I spoke. "But you are a goddamned slob and I'd watch that tetchy mouth of yours if you ever want your fucking laundry done again. Did I not just make you your favorite grilled cheese enchiladas last night? What a fucking whiner." I laughed and I pushed him back offended. I tried to muss his hair but he caught my arm first and put me in a choke hold.

Emmett was looking at us like he just struck gold or some shit. He told us that he was lost at the word 'cheese' and he would talk to Esme and Alice about moving in…When I tried to protest, he just waved me off dismissively like Alice sometimes does and told me not to worry because he has his laundry sent out.

I met some other guys from the team. Some guy named Laurent who had a Megadeth T-shirt on, at least someone here at this party has good taste, Tyler who works at the garage with Rose and Jake, some frat guys that wouldn't leave poor Rosie alone…and Jasper.

Jasper was…hot. Looked like Paul Walker meets a shaggier haired Zack Morris. We talked for a bit. I found out he just graduated last year with his Bachelor's in Business and Landscape Architecture. Talk about random dual majors. He laughed and said he couldn't pick just one when it was time to make a decision and just did…both. Sounds like a three-some to me. I mentally calculated him with the list.

He started his own business about a year ago that was supposed to be just a class project but his friend's dad helped him turn it all out into a healthy, steady income. He is now, with the help of a really large crew of people, turning regular old backyards into Eden's everyday. He looked intrigued when I told him about my own architecture and graphic design majors. And I couldn't remember talking to someone so easily before. He just made me feel…comfortable.

"I don't know. I just…have a way with foliage. I like to get my hands dirty." He shrugged and said it with _out_ the double entendre but my mind is a gutter's cesspool. I giggled and left a hand on his chest because by now I had had three Jaeger shots and liquid licorice makes me brave. "I'm sorry, what was your name?" He asked.

"Isabella Marie Swan." I held out my other hand formally for him to shake. "Pleased to meet you, Smith Jerrod." Jasper obviously didn't recognize the _Sex and the City_ reference to his appearance but his eyes lit up with interest once he knew my name.

"Actually, I was meaning to talk with you Bella," He began.

"What do you mean _Bella_?" I said a little loudly. "Oh my god, have we met before?" I whispered a little tipsy in his ear. My hand on his chest unconsciously traveled to the nape of his neck and move up into his unkempt hair.

"No," he smiled and held my waist closer. He pulled the other hand that he still held to his chest. "I know…Alice. She told me you're looking for a job?" We were kind of swaying to the music in the background. His brow held high on his forehead waiting for my answer.

"Actually yeah, I am. I've been picky. I need to make about $700 a week to be able to afford this place and Alice. She's a rather expensive friend." I said. He looked confused for a moment then smiled in camaraderie.

"We have a lot in common, young Bella. Will $900 a week work for you then? You're my new personal assistant."

I laughed out of courtesy at his lame joke.

"I'm serious." He now looked it but he smiled.

"You don't even know me?" I looked at him skeptically and took in our current intimate position. I abruptly stepped away upset.

"Well, I was going to call you tomorrow about it but I thought because I had you right here, I would just offer it to you. Alice said you would take the job no problem but if you don't want it I can find someone else…"

"No?" I questioned both him and myself. Then I grabbed his hand and took him to a corner where I could speak softly so as not to embarrass him. "I'm not sleeping with you to get a job. Although 'expert fellatio provider' would look strong on my resume, I'm not a fucking sell-out." I kept my voice in a low but serious whisper. I wasn't sober enough to take real offense or drunk enough to not know what the fuck was going on.

He quickly laughed and spoke quietly "Do you think…Alice would speak so lowly of you, Bella? Her reference for you was enough for me to know your potential as an employee. I also know that while we find each other…attractive, I can't sleep with you….Ez-Alice would kill me" He smirked all knowingly and shit. "She has you planned for some one else…" Trailing off, he kept hold of my hand and brought me to the bar in the kitchen with the plethora of alcohol on it. I rolled my eyes at yet another mention of meeting the ass before I realized what Jasper was really offering me.

"What's your pleasure, Bella? And what do you say about the job? It'd be noon to 6 Monday through Thursday and Saturday mornings for a couple of hours. Oh, I forgot to tell you the best part…my friend's dad, you know the one who's investing in me? Ya, he is going to provide you with a company vehicle 'cause you'll be doing a lot of driving around…picking up sod, trees, flowers, fertilizer…you know? Plus I'll need you to scout out potential client's yards…take pictures and shit."

He kept blabbering on and on and I stood there mouth agape like 'sure, I've known you for a grand total of ten minutes. Please just present me with exactly the kind of work I've been looking for-for like… a month, and on top of it take care of my lack of vehicle issue as well… Can I get a hot bo-hunk of a man on the side with that? How about a foot massage? Oh, yes you can pay me $200 more a week than _I_ offered and give me a job that could co-inside with my major- even if just in a diminutive way.' I want to be an architect and 'Personal Assistant to a Venture Capitalist _Landscape_ Architect' would look good on my resume when I'm finally done with school.

I squealed at him then hugged him tightly while jumping up and down. He chuckled in delight. I'm glad he doesn't take offense to overly excited public displays of gratitude…And if he is playing a joke on me, I'm punching him in the junk.

I calmed down coolly and replied in an overdone composed manner. "Why, yes, Jasper, I think that will work out for me. Thank you for the opportunity. I'd like a Jack and coke."

I couldn't contain my composer for long though, I was excited and I couldn't stop grinning like an idiot.

As soon as I had my drink in hand, I started hallucinating. The fucking star of my creamy dreams was in my goddamned kitchen seemingly walking up to Jasper and I. I smiled at him because this day just keeps getting better and better. My fairy godmother has decided to grant me several wishes in one evening and I am not about to take it for granted. He smiled back at me with the same stupid crooked grin I saw earlier. I tried to suppress my swooning. I needed to find more out about this guy before I gave him any inkling I might be interested. He stalked up to us and started pouring himself a drink no doubt thinking of something clever to say.

The girl who was with Emmett, I found out her name and forgot it already. She came up and stole this guy's attention away from me before he could say anything. He kind of gave me a pleading look like 'save me.' I smirked and led Jasper away so I could let him chase me instead.

Jasper seemed like he wanted to get me away from my mystery man and took us outside on the deck.

"Do you know that guy in the kitchen?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yep," was all he offered in response.

"I saw him at the game earlier. How do you know him?"

"He's in my fraternity." He smirked like he knew something I didn't and I tried really hard not to let it bother me.

"Oh…hmm." Dammit. All the hot ones have to be frat guys. I bet he's a dick. _But you like dicks_, I thought to myself. Yes. Yes I do. I'll have to see what I can do about getting on his. Where's Rose?

"Hey, Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't know why you're doing this but, really…just thank you. Thank you for giving me this chance. I really appreciate it." I do have a sappy side. "I'm really a good girl under the crass…so I..."

"You're welcome, Bella. You should know that you're friends speak very highly of you. And after meeting you myself, I think we'll be good friends." He smiled all sincere and crap. I wondered if even though he said he couldn't, he still wanted in my jeans. He was being way too nice for a frat guy. I really wanted this job but I don't sleep with my employers…

"You don't trust people easily do you?" Jasper added.

"People can be really shitty."

"People can be really shitty and they can be really remarkable…but mostly they're a little in between. Remember that shit when you're meeting new people here…"

"As in meeting Alice's Brother?" I hedged.

"Yeah, he's a sweet kid like you…under all that crass and other shit…I know him pretty well…Alice said she's been trying to set you guys up now for awhile." He sounded like his fucking best friend or something.

"Where are you from Jas?"

"Houston."

"Hmm…how well do you actually know the Cullen's"

He hesitated for a moment… "Not very well at all. I have met them a couple of times before. They're alright." He smirked again.

"Well as much as I love Alice, I couldn't date her or be in a serious relationship with her. She's pretentious, spoiled, manipulative, and…mean. She'll do almost anything to get her way. Plus she gives a fucking painful purple nurple." I shuttered because it still hurts.

"What makes you think he wants to date you or be in a serious relationship with you?"

Huh? I opened my mouth. Then I shut it again. "Ah…" I sound like a conceited asshole.

"We all need friends right? Promise me something and I'll give you a few extra days off for Thanksgiving." Shit he's all smug now because he has something to hold over me.

"What?" I asked wearily. "His mom and Alice haven't stopped talking about how interested he is in meeting me and going out since 2005…I should have known…He's probably in the same boat as me…avoiding the hell out of me too isn't he?" I should have noticed that Alice hadn't yet been able to get our introduction over with.

He laughed nodding in confirmation. I felt so idiotic. "Just promise me that you'll give him a shot at _friendship _once you meet him…everyone deserves at least that, right? I don't know if he's gonna make it tonight but whenever Alice gets around to doing what she does best- getting her way- promise you'll _try_."

Jasper is a good person. Remarkable as he would say. I negotiated three holiday paid days off to be nice to some guy who was in his fraternity. He goes all out for his brothers.

)(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(())(

Later, once I located her, I was telling Rose and the fucktards that wouldn't leave her side about my extreme good luck this evening. She was very supportive about the job, in fact she wasn't surprised. She said she met Jasper the other day and said he's a real genuine guy…She must have been with shopping or something with Alice when she met him… who I just realized seems to be MIA somewhere?

I was just beginning to explain to Rose about the beautiful Greek god from my dreams in the kitchen when one fucktard in particular looked me up and down very obviously and proceeded to ask me if he could get me another drink. I made some stupid comment how I could drink anyone here under the table and he still wouldn't be getting in my pants. The stupid fucker wanted to make it a bet and when Rosie started chanting 'Swa-an, Swa-an,' How could I not give these mother-fuckers a show? Every one with a shot class was invited to play.

I confidently bet this bastard, Mike my knickers and after he passes out he'd owe me his. He'd be stuck doing the walk of shame out of this house with out getting any action and with out his pants…covering his small junk with one hand all the way home. I hope he had to park far away.

He doesn't know that I have an odd glitch in my system that allows me to consume large amounts of alcohol and still keep a pretty level head. I have Renee's genes after all.

I stood with Rose in the kitchen while they were setting up the game on the kitchen table.

"I want him." I whispered, pointing at the guy who was at the end of the counter, talking with Jasper now, and who I just barely noticed had the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen.

"Him?" She questioned smiling all sneaky and shit. What is up with people today? Is there a joke I'm not getting? "He's hot, Bells. You want Fuck Good approval or what?"

"Yeah, of course. But in order to get there, I need the holy wisdom that is Rosalie Hale?"

"Have you talked to him?"

"No, but he keeps looking at me like he's hungry or something…like he wants to eat me. I think I'll let him."

She laughed a musical sound which made them look up at us. Rose seemed to be eyeing my boss a little like she wanted a piece. She fucking winked at him and he smiled that same knowing smile as before.

"You don't need shit, girl. His eyes just fucked you through your clothes seven ways from Thursday." If that wasn't a confidence booster, I don't know what would be.

She handed me the Jose and took several shot glasses with us to the Kitchen table. Jasper and his friend were already there ready to play.

I found out that Mike was also in Jasper's Fraternity. He's about to lose his Lucky's to a girl he hardly knows. Rosalie announced the wages of the lost pants to everyone that circled around for the show. Guys and girls alike looked nervous for me. Rose was the only one confident in my skills as she's seen this shit go down before. She set the glasses down loudly then passed a bowl of lemons and a salt shaker to each of us.

Mike and I had our own bottles of Jose in hand when I turned to _him_, handing over my bottle with out a word. He smiled nervously and poured me a shot. I had never even met this fellow and he seemed to be silently telling me that no matter what happens, he wouldn't let Mike get my pants. Oh bless his heart; he's sweet underneath the filthy crooked smiles. He looked so tempting I had to scoot closer to him so I could be with in touching distance. He smiled genuinely at me for the first time and I skipped a heart beat. I like him. I haven't even spoken to him but I like him.

"You're real smile is more dangerous." I told him honestly. As much as I _loved_ the crooked one, the authentic, at ease one he just sent me made my heart melt.

"Huh?" He smiled again but I could tell he had no idea what I was talking about.

"That smile," He unconsciously smiled again so his face lit all up and shit. I wasn't just in lust anymore. Just that smile made me feel _more_ for him. "Well, that sly, mischievous grin you've been giving me all day I'm sure works wonders on all the ladies…it works for me too…but I like this…" I touched his cheek, because his beautiful face had been calling my name all day. His smile grew impossibly bigger at my touch. "…one best."

"That's kind of cheesy." His voice was like honey.

I giggled because it was. "I like cheesy sometimes."

"I like your smile too." I couldn't help it. I beamed at him excited. Stop. Stop it right now. I will like you too much if you keep it up.

Other people had their own little wages going with each other and different kinds of liquor going on. Rose didn't play in order to keep a level head for me. My very own wing-woman.

I noticed that even though I had The Sex God pouring my shots for me, he had some kind of bet going on with Jasper and a half gallon bottle of crown. He and Jasper both were shooting me concerned looks worried for my morality.

"I must clarify for you two. You look nervous. I didn't actually bet Mike that he could get _in_ my pants. I bet him my actual pants…my jeans…Plus," I whispered conspiratorially to them both, "This ain't my first rodeo…I'm going to kick his ass."

They both politely smiled at my explanation shrugging off the idea of my innate alcoholism like they should. I didn't take it personally that they didn't have faith in my skills. They were about to see some crazy shit.

I smirked confidently, licked the salt off my hand and took the shot like the professional I shouldn't be. Rose held a lemon to my lips and I sucked it down. Mike followed and tried to hide his sour face, and then he looked around blankly for someone to be holding his lemon. Rosie's my bitch, dick. I set back in my chair and folded my legs under myself getting comfortable because this was just the beginning…

After about seven shots, Mike was starting to sway. I was still smirking at everyone.

"If you puke Mike, you better make it in the fucking trash can…" Rosalie growled at him while simultaneously shoving a small can in his lap.

"You've done this before." The velvet voice on my right deducted. I turned to face him while he poured me another shot.

"It's a gift."

"I think I should tell you that the guy I saw you with earlier at the game?" He hedged like I should know where he was going with this…

"Yeah?"

"Your boyfriend just left with my date." I frowned because he said he came with a girl then I was confused at the reference to my non-existent…

"Boyfriend?" I questioned a tad tipsy.

"The guy who carried you out of there?" He's absolutely beautiful, I mused, not really listening. Then I realized what he said…I guess that means Embry's out.

"Oh shit...the Fucker." I muttered angrily. I should be happy for him though; I was his back up too…so…good for him. Shitty for me. Now what am _I_ going to do?

"Is it bad luck when the contingency plan back fires before the actual plan?"

"Come again?" he asked confusingly amused.

"I can't. Embry was the back up booty call." I said truthfully as I downed another shot. "Ah well, there's always the shower head. Things are looking up." Tequila is like truth serum.

"You know I have no idea what you mean?"

"I'm counting on that" I smirked over at him.

"It hurts my self-esteem Rosie," I said to her. "…That he wouldn't fight harder for these lips."

"He's the one who's missing out?" She smiled playfully and set next to me holding my hand. Nothing out of the ordinary for us.

"You would know." I flirted back. "It looks like I will be self servicing tonight."

"I could always help you out again if you need an extra hand...or tongue." Rosie giggled, trying to sound casual. Rosie loves to make out. Rosie would love to do more than that…she jokes about it often. She is a true friend when in need. She flirts with me shamelessly. What would she do if I ever actually took her up on her blatant offers?

I had too much alcohol in me to be able to blush so I smiled confidently at her. "Do not fucking tease me, Rosie, I'm too wound up for false hopes…" We laughed because the guys at the table were trying to act nonchalant at our girl on girl references with each other. Where the fuck is Alice?

"Mike could you clunk over all ready, I've got shit to do tonight?"

………………………………………………………

I was impressed. Mike had actually made it to twelve and I was starting to feel Jose.

I found out the mystery man to my right was in medical school here and worked at the nearby clinic getting his hours in. God, he is too perfect. He's beautiful and he's smart…and doctors help people. Every time he'd laugh with Jasper about something, my heart would liquefy a little more. I liked him. Too much. And I didn't even know his name yet.

He smelled like heaven and sex and warm and yum? I've never met a guy whose smell single-handedly made me want to fuck him, let alone everything else this guy has going.

"You smell good." I leaned in to him to get more. I was no where near poor Newton's condition but I was a drunk. I had all twelve shots in me so far plus some Jaeger and Jack from earlier. I also had several beers at the game so I was not my normal self. I was now self-assured, brave, blatantly honest, Bella. Completely opposite than normal, sober Bella except still horny and still unabashedly attracted to man who just put me in his fucking lap.

"Should we go one more, Mike? You gonna make it?" I asked him hugging my man close opening inhaling his scent. Mike just stared at me for about 30 seconds before the slightest enlightenment crossed his features. The fucker wouldn't give up hope and nodded his head for one more. I laughed at his tenacity for my pants.

"I'm flattered that you're so interested in these…what are these pants called again, Rosa?...Doesn't matter cause yer not getting um. I forgot to tell you, Mikey, I have played this game before. I'm not gonna get sick. I won't have a hangover. And my pants will still be mine in the morning…unless I give'em to this stranger here later. Give me your pants. You lose."

"One more." He said and I nodded to my man to poor me another.

I noticed Rose kept text messaging someone but I didn't have the mental capacity to think who it could be. Something was still up I could tell. She and Jasper had been watching us now like we were pay per view porn for the last hour. What the fuck is going on? I'm usually so perceptive.

I licked Sexy man's hand, poured salt on it, licked it again. I took the shot and his fingers were pressing harder into my skin the closer I got to his mouth. I took the lemon from it. Pulled the juice from the lemon, threw it over my shoulder before softly placing my lips back to his.

Lovely. It was absolutely lovely. I pulled back and looked into his eyes hoping I hadn't offended him by my kissing before he even knew my name.

Come to think of it, every time either of us had tried to ask the others name, Rose or Jasper would interrupt and change the subject. Me with the Jose and him with the crown were too intoxicated to notice or care. We couldn't carry on two conversations at the same time…

"This is ridicules, my name…"

I was about to just tell him my name when Mike stood up a little unsteady. He took two steps and toppled right over straight as an arrow.

"Pussy! I win. Get his pants!" I yelled. I got high fives from all kinds of people that I forgot were even there and then right when I was about to turn back into my future lover's eyes, I saw her. She came peering down the hallway smiling like a little kid who did something bad but incredibly fun and a look of pure mischief was in her eyes.

I looked to Rose, then Jasper, and then _him_ and I noticed the bone-structure of his face, especially his nose, looked strangely akin to someone else I knew. I thought back to all the smirks and knowing looks. I even got a few from Jake earlier before he left with a bunch of guys from the Res. Huh? Good god, was I really so blind this entire time? Yes. Why? Because he was the last person I wanted him to be. Perfect, beautiful smelly good stranger was...

Oh no. I started to laugh uncontrollably at my idiocy.

---

A/N Whew! That was the longest chapter ever! And I still didn't get as far as I wanted to in the story. I need a Beta so don't complain if there are totally dumb and useless parts… Help me out if you can.

**There will be some hearty EPOV next chapter. I would like to offer a vigorous thanks to the 22 people who have taken time out of their days to give me some love. Please, feel free to do it again.**

**About the Jose? I have never gone 12 rounds…I am a light weight. I didn't know if that was too much to fit what I am trying to say or not. All I know is I was in Vegas with my husband and some friends and my husband beat out everyone and got to 12. He was fucking drunk. That was a hell of a night. **

**References:**

**1. The actual London Bridge that fell down, was taken apart brick by brick and purchased by the United States. It is now put together again 'brick by number' over Lake Havasu in Arizona. I love their gift shop...**

**2. Pete Carroll is head coach of USC Football. Emmett convinced him to put Jake in even though Jake is a freshman...rare.**

**3. "The Prairie" as Jake put it...is really called 'La Prairie' and it's a uppity celebrity spa in L.A. I have never been there but I've heard its fabulous. Alice would be taking her there if she didnt go down stairs...**

**4. Smith Jerrod on Sex and the City is a sex god and he is absolutely the hottest mother effer to ever grace that wonderful show. I see him as a Jasper. GOOGLE HIM IN ORDER TO OGLE HIM! Im Serious.**

**5. LaDainian Tomlinson is also cleverly nicknamed LT. He's a way hot running back for the San Diego Chargers. He is amazing.**


	7. Chapter 7

It's been an extremely long time since I have updated anything. You might not even remember my stories. I have a new profile up and that's where I will be continuing some of my stories if you're interested at all. I will post the link on this Fitjess profile. Thanks to everyone who took a chance at reading my stories. I love everyone who ever favorited, reviewed or alerted me.

Jess


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